i'm better off alone

i'm courtney. i really don't like myself. but, i'm working on that. some things may be triggering, i do not promote self harm. my ask is open if you ever need help or advice.

"She’s a girl with broken dreams. A broken heart and open seams." 
Locked lips and slit wrists. Who wouldve thought it’d turn to this.

The feeling of skin tissue rip as the blade cuts across your fragile skin. Your eyes flutter to watch as the blood rinses down your arm. You feel the pain, because that’s all you know. You never thought it’d come to such a sad night, that you wanted to die. You would push people away because you didn’t want them to know you was hurt. You’d tell them you was okay, and you’d tell yourself that too. You had it all planned. The date, the note, everything. You was going to kill yourself. You had hurt enough, and wanted the pain to end. It’s not that you was ready to leave life, but life was ready to leave you. You tied the rope and placed the note where your parents would find it. You stood on the chair, and looked around at the place you once called home. Then jumped. The life slipped away from you, and you was gone. 

Think of the people who blamed their selves for your suicide. Think of your family, as they found you hanging there. Think of the terror that crossed among many faces as they saw their dear class mate, student, friend, family member, child, laying in the casket. You thought no one cared. But everyone cares at one point. You was just pushed to far to realize. You paid attention to the ones that were mean. Instead of the ones that should’ve mattered. You didn’t get to finish your life, when you had so much to offer to the world. But now no one, not even you will get to see you grow up, and live a full and amazing life. 

Suicide Hotlines: 1-800-784-2433

                       1-800-273-8255

Don’t kill yourself over something that will be in your past tomorrow. Because the future always hold brighter days. 

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